Hollywood and Video Game Movies

This article ran in The Daily Cardinal on Wednesday February 22, 2006.

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Many movies originate from another source: books, stage productions and occasionally even video games. So prevalent is the trend to base a movie on a previously existing story that screenplays for these movies have come to be recognized by their own Academy Award. And when judged against original cinematic ideas, these adaptations have faired quite well. Except for those movies based on games.

So why do movies based on video games suck so much? The reason is easy to identify, but the causes for it are a little more elusive. Don’t get me wrong: sometimes they’re good. Actually, that’s not true—they’re all terrible.

It’s not because video games are an unpopular medium. Video games out-gross box office receipts in the United States. Is it because video games aren’t really vessels for story telling? Games can tell stories, but compared with other media they are kind of flimsy and not very well-developed. But that’s not the entire problem: Good screenwriters could weave a meaningful story into the fabric of any fantastic situation, and it would probably work.

Movies based on games are bad because people making movies don’t really care about or respect games. The suits that green light projects, like the recent movie “Doom,” know that the films will make money no matter how bad they are. Movies rarely lose money when you factor in ancillary markets, international grosses, DVD releases, etc., so one more film out the door is a few million in their pockets at the end of the day.

The really great films, however, are labors of love. They have competent directors, writers that know how to compile a good screenplay, good production values and actors that can make us care about characters that were once polygonal and only shot aliens. Even an average movie based on a game would be a change of pace.

But instead of simple mediocrity, we get directors like Uwe Boll who have a penchant for making really, really bad movies based on video games. His last three films, “House of the Dead,” “Alone in the Dark” and “BloodRayne,” have been rated six, one and 7 percent, respectively, on RottenTomatoes.com. For those of you who don’t know, that’s bad. And he’s got five more game-based films in the pipe, including what’s sure to be an abomination unto the Lord in the form of a “Far Cry” movie.

Games and movies are good or bad for different reasons. Movies need to engage the viewer emotionally. After that, action and CGI effects, if necessary, are icing on the cake. Games on the other hand, are a lot like porno—it’s all about the action. Yes, there’s a scenario, but it’s a secondary objective. Look at “Tetris.” One of the most successful games of all time gave you no reason to play, it was just fun. Just because a game is good doesn’t mean porting it to the big screen almost verbatim is a good idea.

Blockbuster director extraordinaire Peter Jackson is acting as producer on the upcoming “Halo” movie. Let’s hope he can deliver an at least passable sci-fi blockbuster and avoid the eventual DVD being tossed into the bin with 1993’s “Super Mario Brothers.”